Life Traveller. Been Somewhere. Going Somewhere.

Five more visitors yesterday than the day before, thirty-six more page views, but six less comments, and from position thirteen yesterday, I have toppled back into obscurity today. I suppose it is a good idea to calculate the position in the top 20 based at least partly on comments. Actually, it's better than basing it purely on visits because that can be so easily manipulated. But it does make me feel slightly guilty when I don't comment on friend's posts though, because it has an effect on whether they find themselves in the top 20 or not, and whilst it is just a bit of fun, it really is rather pleasant to find oneself there.
Well, enough of this. I'll have to see if I can find something else to write about, even if it doesn't bring readers flocking to my blog. Oh the desire to be read.

I write about all sorts of different things, but nothing gets me into the top 20 these days. Not that I'm in the least bothered about being there, you understand. Well, maybe I like to be in it occasionally, and as far as I'm aware I haven't been there for months. I don't always think to check, so I could have been, I suppose. Anyway, yesterday I write about how unhappy with blog.co.uk I am, and suddenly everyone is visiting my blog. And you know something? It's nice to be noticed. Even if it's only for one day. Even if I'm back in the realms of obscurity tomorrow.

Either I'm losing it, or blog.co.uk is. I've posted several comments recently, and when I noticed I didn't get a response, I went to the blogs concerned, and my comments aren't there! I'm getting a bit pissed off with this site, what with it turning my pro account into an ordinary one, with having to log in a thousand times before I can post a comment, and now the lost comments. I can do without this. Can you tell I'm not in the best of moods tonight?

Don Kippardy - I can't help wondering, who is he? My granddaughter is getting ready for the nativity performance at school and she keeps singing about this Don Kippardy whilst making undulating movements with her hands. I asked if she was doing a Hawaiian dance, but she looked at me all quizzical and then said, no.

Does anyone have any idea who this Don Kipardy is, and how he fits into the Christmas story?

I can't believe it's only a month until Christmas. How on earth did that happen? How ready am I for the occassion? Well, my tree is up, but only because I never took it down last year. Christmas puddings I have because I bought a couple in the sales last year. A packet of Christmas cards I also have, but whether any get written or not is another matter, but they might if I can locate the addresses of people I usually send to. As for the rest - I have one tiny present for my granddaughter, and that is it. What a stressful time of the year it is. And strangely enough it's become more about money than love. I don't want to think about buying presents - at least I only buy for immediate family these days, so it's no so bad, being as there are so few of them left. Actually, it's very bad that there are so few of them left, very bad indeed. But life goes on, and Christmas will be here in a month whether I'm ready or not. Am I looking forward to it? I think I am.

Just to update you on playwrite27. To my great releif she received some help and was able to find an apartment in the town where she works. The whole thing was very stressful and distressing for her, particularly as she had to have four of her cats put down, a couple of whom she'd had for seventeen years, right from when they were born. Anyway, she's bearing up and focusing on a fresh start. Things still aren't easy for her, but at least she's trying to make the best of her situation, and I do wish her well. She's offline at the moment, but should be back as soon as she finds a new internet provider.

Following on from my post of yesterday, what I wanted to ask today is, have you seriously thought of suicide? I'm particularly interested in when you were younger (for those who are older), say up to the age of twenty-five. Also if there was any real reason for wanting to do such a thing. I'm wondering how normal it is for people to want to kill themselves. Sorry if this seems morbid, but I feel I need to know these things to better understand myself and certain emotions I've been through and how normal these are.

If you don't want to comment about it here, maybe you could email me?

In response to my questions of yesterday, angelkirstin (thank you) has been able to tell me that a study she read about stated that everyone suffers from depression at some stage in their lives, and that at any given moment twenty per cent of the British population is sufferring from depression in some form or other. I was really interested to read that, and surprised at the high percentage, but in a way comforted by it, since it shows that depression is a part of normal life. Now I need to know how normal thoughts of suicide are.

Thank you very much to those who commented on yesterday's post. It's very much appreciated. I'll try and get round to responding to them later.

Around one in a hundred in Britain are diagnosed as having manic depression. That seems to be an awful lot of people. And what about the undiagnosed? Another one or two in a hundred? And what about all those who aren't manic, just depressed? Is depressed the same as unhappy? I tend to think of unhappiness as having a reason, and depression as having no cause other than a chemical imbalance in the brain, but I don't suppose that's right. I've been depressed for no reason, and I've been depressed when I've had a reason. Or maybe it's just that unhappiness and depression had coincided at times.
Anyway, I'm amazed at how many depressed people there are in this country. I wonder if it's normal to be depressed at certain times in our lives, and I wonder if there are those who never feel depressed.

Is there anyone out there who has never been depressed?

Tomorrow I will have a different question for you.

I am feeling very disagreable tonight. I wish I had someone to whinge to. You lot will have to do instead. Don't like whingers? Don't read. Don't care.

I've got a sink full of dishes and I'm seriously considering throwing the whole lot in the dustbin. I'm fed up of them - I keep washing them, they keep getting dirty. I think I'll sling the lot and eat off paper plates with plastic cutlery in future. Or maybe I'll just not eat. Food seems like such a waste of money. I buy the stuff, I eat it, then I have to buy more. Maybe I'll just dispense with the food and eat the paper plates.

Maybe those nice young men in their clean whilte coats will come to take me away haha.

I'd like to wish all going to the Blog Meet in Leeds this weekend a very enjoyable time with the excellent company they shall find themselves in. I bet it will be great and I'm looking forward to reading extensive posts about it next week.

The problem when people delete a blog and don't say why, is that they leave us worrying. It's not as if we can go round to their house or pick up the phone and find out what has happened. I can't even remember what Monkey's blog was called, and so can't go there for enlightenment, although actually he'd stopped posting there a while ago, so I probably wouldn't find anything out there anyway.
So many people delete blogs or stop posting, and one just can't help wondering what has happened. Did they just get fed up with it all, or is it something serious? The chances of finding out are minimal.

I haven't been paying that much attention to what is going on here for a few days and I've discovered that Hobbit has disappeared. Anyone know why?

That's it. Very Upset. See here