Life Traveller. Been Somewhere. Going Somewhere.

The tension is mounting. Good Luck to everyone. And to me.

Whilst I'm here, I thought I might as well mention that I had my three thousandth comment yesterday. It was from Avrilo on my last post Sometimes It's Just Right. Click if you want to see what a 3000th comment looks like.

I'm getting tired of being sucked into that dark place.
And then being spat out again.

But at least I am being spat out again.

Sometimes the speed between light and dark is so accelerated that I'm quite dizzy.
Then I pass out.
Then I'm okay for a time.
Then I'm not.
I suppose that's life - pretty much.

We all have our dark times, and we have our bright ones.
Sometimes the dark is so dark we need to switch on the light.
Sometimes the light is so bright we need to wear dark glasses.
And sometimes it's just right.

Yes, sometimes it is actually Just Right.

I really don't understand. Why do people become addicted to alcohol/drugs? I can understand trying them, or even indulging from time to time to get a high. But all the time? Why? Is it sorrow? pain? what? A way to escape the awfulness of one's life? It's just that it doesn't seem to solve any problems. It only adds more.

There are quite a few people around here who seem to drink an awful lot. They are interesting, intelligent, knowlegeable, articulate people and yet they continue this spiral of self-destruction. I could weep. I really could. That is when I'm not laughing, of course, as they certainly produce some hillarious posts. But is it worth it killing yourselves just so I can have a laugh? Is it?

As far as our essential internal organs are concerned, there is one of each, with the exception of lungs and kidneys. We have one heart, one liver, one stomach, one bladder, one brain, two lungs and two kidneys. I don't know how people manage with one lung, if it can do the job of two, but I do know that one kidney is all we need. So why have we got two?

I thought I'd better mention Paddy, who blogs this morning that he's suffering from gay flu, which is infinitely worse than man flu. See here .

Get well soon, Paddy.  I hope you're being well looked after, and I can recommend home made chicken broth for your illness - works wonders, although as you're obviously suffering from the worst kind of flu, do make sure it's nice and strong.  And better make the chicken organinc, or at least free range, those others have so little taste in them that it's a waste of time making any kind of soup out of them.  Of course, I'm assuming that Brad is at liberty to rush to the supermarket to purchase said chicken, and some nice veggies - I recommend onion, carrot and celery for a nice clear broth aka consomme (however that is spelt).

I'm feeling a little strange, to say the least.

For about the first time in my life (that I can remember that is), I'm feeling really competitive. It's actually starting to matter to me if I win a Bloscar or not. And I notice that part of the reason I can't do the True Friend thing is that I want to be the one with the most answers right, the one at the top of the list, and I know I can't be. It really is most peculiar. Even so, the feeling isn't constant as I veer between wanting it and not caring. I hardly know what I want half the time.

Explanations, anyone?

So many of you have got these True Friend tests on your blogs, and I can't answer any of them because my memory is so poor that I can't remember what most people have written. Actually for some strange reason I thought my memory was improving (despite the trouble I had learning the names and shirt numbers of the Oxford sqad). I was sadly mistaken. I would love to put up a test of my own, but feel that it really is unfair when I don't feel equipped to attempt any one else's. It's quite sad when I think of all the hours (and they are well over a thousand now) spent reading blogs only to have almost no recollection of what I've read.

One of those brainless girls on CBB a few weeks ago said (referring to Indians), "Don't they eat with their hands? That's disgusting." (or something very like that). And naturally she doesn't eat with her hands - never held an ice cream cone in them, never taken a crisp or peanut it them, never a chip (heavens forbid), nor an apple or pear or any other fruit, never a biscuit or a sandwich? What a moron. We all eat with our hands. What is disgusting is her ignorance and her perception of other cultures.

I'm not sure if the media picked up on that at the time, focusing as they did on the bullying. What a pity that such a pretty girl should have been saying such ugly things. I hope that she's had time to reflect on what she did say and to adopt a more acceptable attitude to those different to herself.

I get into the bath and turn the shower on. I find myself sliding towards the plug hole, which thankfully is smaller than I am. Whilst pondering the bath's new slippery surface I skate backwards and forwards for a bit. I realise that I forgot to rinse the bath out last time, and that it's hair conditioner. It's obviously very good conditioner, that clings very well because I can't get it off now. I have my shower whilst trying to remain upright in one place. Result - aching muscles in feet and calves, and a determination never to forget to rinse the bath out again.

As many of you know by now, I was set the task by Captain Autumn of learning the Oxford United squad during my Blog Bro Week . It was the first one set for me and the only one I managed to complete - after a fashion. I found it incredibly difficult to learn something that I have no interest in or that has any connection with anything in my life. After thinking of the best way to tackle it, I divided the players into groups of three and two and stuck up their names together with shirt numbers at various points in the house. The first three were the easisest to learn, and they weren't nos.1, 2 and 3. Initially I only managed to find some association with No. 1 Chris Tardif - a mix of Tardis and Cardiff, then two more Chrises - nos. 5 and 10. So, that was my first group. I won't go into details of the others in the interests of not sending you all to sleep, but the final group - nos. 2, 3 and 4 would only stay in my head for about a minute and I couldn't summon them up at all for the test.

Anyway, my reward was to be a week of posts from Captain Autumn if I got all of the answers right (including spelling of names). Knowing of the impossibility of my actually being able to learn them all, I negotiated with him to be rewarded on a pro rata basis and the result is five posts to appear on five consecutive days. Today is the first day, and if you would like to read what he has to say this day and for the next four please click on the yellow and blue banner above, which was so kindly provided for me by ajnspencer. I certainly recommend that you do get clicking if you like to read interesting posts. He doesn't guarantee that they will be amusing as well, but I can live with that.

If by some strange chance you wish to see the test plus results, click here. The first comments are the relevant ones.

Here I sit, not ultra thrilled with life. I've been ill and sufferring for three days now, and since misery loves company and I can't think what else to write, I thought it would be good for the world and his wife to be aware of my current miserable state. Actually, I didn't want to use the word 'miserable' there to reflect my mood, but my inner thesaurus isn't working today. I could have used 'unhappy' but that is too heavy, man (and woman).

It's very liberating to ramble on about nothing in particular on a Sunday morning. Actually, I think I'll ramble off back to bed since my eyes hurt too much for me to focus comfortably on the screen. I'm not liking this, not one little bit.

For anyone wanting news of Hobbit and Monkey's baby, go here Helena100

For once I've decided to promote myself, and with the help of that lovely and talented ajnspencer, I'm doing just that. I'm very pleased with the banner he's made for me. I don't know how difficult these things are, but they seem very difficult to me; and he even went to the trouble of finding some inspritational quotes to put on it. The man is an artist and a gentleman, and I really am very grateful to him. For those of you who haven't yet been to the Bloscars site to vote, just click on my banner, and there you will see more evidence of his talents - just amazing. And next week I have another ajnspencer banner to put up linking to the blog of Captain Autumn, who as a reward for my learning (or rather trying to learn) the names and numbers of the Oxford Squad is going to be posting something every day for five consecutive days. I'm looking forward to that.
I think I'd better mention that Mr AJ is up for some awards himself, five actually, so I think you should vote for him too - particularly as he isn't in direct competition with me.

We can't always choose the path we take, but we can choose how we travel along it.

During conversation with a friend the other day, I was saying, "I have been so lucky."
To which she responded, "But you've had such dreadful things happen."
"Bad things happen to everyone," I said.
"Not as much as they've happened to you."
Well, maybe not, but I was thinking of the good things that happened to me. And they were good, very good. And I appreciated them. Actually, I thought if I appreciated them enough, they wouldn't be taken from me. Sadly, it doesn't work that way. But I still maintain that I have been, and continue to be, fortunate. I have fantastic memories to sustain me, and I have two daughters who make it pretty obvious that they love me very much, to say nothing of a granddaughter whose light shines so sweetly in my direction.

It isn't always possible to be positive, I know, and I'm not always positive myself, but if you can seek out what is good in your life and build on that, then your life becomes better, and often that affects those around you.

Something to blur the edges, make us forget what is inside our heads? Alcohol. Drugs. Gambling. Blogging/Computers. Chocolate/Food. Smoking. Exercising/Sports. Sleep. Sex. Anti-depressants. Anorexia. Anything.

In case you're wondering if I managed to do everything I set out to do, the answer is, not quite. I didn't speak to anyone other than my mother, daughters and granddaughter as was my intention. I didn't watch any TV, listen to the radio, use the computer or read any newspapers - not even old ones. I very nearly managed not to leave the confines of my home and garden, but my daughter was ill on Sunday (the last day), and she eventually asked me to come and get my granddaughter in the afternoon and take her to my house. She really didn't want to as she was very keen for me not to 'fail'. I don't think I did, since I saw no one and consequently spoke to no one.

Removing virtually all technology from my life certainly was liberating - I didn't even know what time it was, so that was fun. I wanted to see if I still ate three times a day without the clock to prompt me - I did. I've no idea what times I went to bed or how long I slept for, but it was light when I awoke on every day except one, when the central heating coming on woke me.

I had hoped to find myself with more time somehow, since the internet and tv between them appear to be the thieves of time, but that didn't happen. I just found that instead of going for a daily walk, I was gardening; instead of blogging or surfing the net, I was reading or knitting; instead of doing housework I was, well, doing more housework. So the days passed with me seemingly not getting any more done than usual. I still didn't manage to sort my life out. My daughter thinks I should have more time away from the internet as she says she could see some improvement. I don't know, but it certainly was far less stressful. I no longer worried about answering emails and comments. Instead I have to worry about that now, and sevenfold!

I think GoingSomewhere Mk 2 did a wonderful job of keeping you updated, so my thanks to her, and thank you to those of you who commented. Of course, I wasn't allowed to know anything of what was happening here. There is so much catching up to do, I really don't know where to start. It's becomming apparent to me just what a retreat from the world that one week was. I particularly enjoyed it to begin with, but by Thursday I was missing communicating with other people and not knowing what was going on in the world, both the wider one, and here.

I suppose I'd better mention the tasks - of those I set myself: I knitted a hat for my granddaughter and more than half of the jumper for my daughter, and then undid it again, not in a fit of pique, but for the reason she already mentioned - her loss, my gain; I read a book - Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon - it wasn't as I expected and I found it very dark and was regretting I'd started it, but by the time I finished it I was so glad I'd read it; I didn't learn any French, but I made plans for a holiday in Paris in the spring anyway. Of the tasks set for me, I only learnt (or tried to) the names of the Oxford United squad - sorry about the rest of them, particularly the painting as suggested by Juzzy. But, Juzzy, if you ever want to look inside my head - there it is, all planned out. Sorry to the others who suggested them, but no drawing, poem or newspaper article either. Did I really have a week to do all this? Seems it was more like a day.

I don't know how it's happened but today has sped by five times faster than the seven that preceeded it. Pretty amazing.

I've just been having a quick look at some blogs and it feels as though much has been going on in my absence, not least of which has been the blog nominations. I'm stupidly pleased to find myself in the running for two awards, and until I read that there will be Pro Blog.co.uk accounts for the winners, wasn't bothered about winning. Since my Pro account un-Pro-ed itself, this is something that is very desireable to me. I don't care about seeing my name up in lights or any of that fame stuff, but a Pro account, now that is another matter. Really, I am very pleased and it suddenly seems that Most Inspriational Blog and Most Thought Provoking Blog are the very best categories to be in. I am utterly amazed. I'm up against some very tough competition though, so that's rather scarey. Thank you so much to all who nominated me. It really is great to think that there are those of you who find my blog inspirational, which is something I never would have said it was. How strange that others see us quite differently to how we see ourselves. As for Thought Provoking, I would have thought that the only one I provoke is that I am completely off my rocker. Maybe that is it.

As always, I'm so grateful to PaddyUK for doing this - there must be so much work involved. I notice that ajnspencer has been working his magic again too - what a man. Also lyndlj has been reading, reading and reading - then writing, writing and writing - all for our benefit. That trio certainly make January and February days brighter. Thank you again, the three of you, but especially Paddy for having the brilliant idea in the first place, and then for doing all the work involved.

Hurrah.

It was interesting, but not something to be repeated, certainly not in that form.

Loads of catching up to do, both here and in the 'real' world. And, yes, I am going to kill my daughter. Or at least I'm going to leave her to rot in her sick bed whilst I nip into town to buy myself lots of tasty food. And I'm not going to get her anything. Hahahaha.

I'm hoping to post something about my experience later on today, but as the above mentioned daughter is so ill, I may be rather busy.

Sorry I haven't written sooner but being as my mother has been safely cooped up in her self imposed imprisonment I've actually had time to get on with my life! - (she's going to kill me for saying that!)

Anyway, update!

Book has been finished and she really enjoyed it (I knew she would) even though she kept telling me it was too 'dark'.

Garden has never looked better and plans to transform it into a haven of lovliness are now underway.

Holiday plans have been formulated (very excited about that!)

Knitted a bit more of jumper for me but we both decided that the colour doesn't suit me at all but REALLY suits her so now she's going to have it - a bit miffed to say the least!

Football players are still having trouble planting themselves in her head, I think she should have had pictures of them, then it would be easier to remember, number 9 is the fit one with blonde hair....

The kitchen is now a gleaming palace and indeed hasn't looked so good in years!

She says although she's enjoyed it, thank God there's only one more day left! She's missing her blog world I think! and she says maybe Juzzy was right, about what I can't tell you.

So there you have it in a very small nutshell, and that's me signing out. Hope you've enjoyed my little ramblings and I'll hand it over to the master who'll be back on Monday (no doubt at about 6am!). Take it easy....

GS mark2